Ok, I know this is sad as sad can be, but I've listened to it long enough to catch pretty much all the lyrics, so just in case anyone really wanted them, here they are. It's official - I'm gay for Michael Gregory. His parts are in italics.
Autotune the News #2
You gotta do it like this.
Ready, set, go.
This is a pretty remarkable week on the gay marriage front. First of all, to have a state like Iowa..
Whatchu tryin' to say about Iowa?
Not an east coast thing.
Not a west coast thing.
In a decision written by a republican Wednesday.
Now your sounding so fine, give me your number we can bump and grind. Talkin' about politics all night, keepin it cool till the mornin' light.
If we get carried away we might be gay baby, today.
We just heard from some of our viewers who strongly support legalizing marijuana.
Shorty! Five of them calls was from meeeee!
Do you think we should legalize pot alone or all drugs including heroin, cocaine and meth?
My mind says no but my body says yes!
I'm an angry gorilla, I heard you needed me.
Captain Richard Phillips has been successfully rescued. The President has decided to step in front of the spotlight.
I'm angry. You can't see it but my forhead's painted.
Even taking credit for authorizing the mission.
Don't you worry baby boo, you'll always have an angry gorilla to be angry with you. That's what I do. Just ask Donkey Kong, he's in my crew.
At the North Pole, new satellite photos show arctic ice is melting so fast...
Oh snap! How fast!
Many scientists now predict it will be gone within 30 years.
Surely you jest, I'm under cardiac arrest! Shorty!
Some researchers think it could disappear in just six.
Without it, there could be a snowball effect with temperatures rising even faster if we all don't take bold action and take it soon.
We will find ourselves on very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice. Putting pirates on very thin ice.
These pirates are criminals. They are armed gangs on the sea.
That means the ocean!
The United States does not make concessions or ransom payments to pirates.
Embarrassing, sorry guys. Oh sorry, I've got to take this.
Hello Shorty! We can meet up at the mall, at the mall, right around the bookstore at the mall.