High School. Four of the most important years of your life. But it isn't always dances and keg parties and sucking face in your parents' mini-van. Sometimes it's ugly and hard and complicated. As complicated as a conspiracy to overthrow the president. There's something rotten at St. Donovan's High and sophomore newspaper reporter Bobby Funke is on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. When senior hottie Francesca Facchini solicits Funke's help tracking down a set of stolen SATs, Funke uncovers a story dirtier than the lunch lady's mustache. After he fingers the school president (figuratively) for the crime, Funke becomes one of the most popular kids at St. Donovan's High. No longer known simply as the freshman who was once tied to a giant snowman penis, Funke wins the respect of everyone from the Desert-Storm-hero-turned-educator Principal Kirkpatrick to the kid that farts on him in Spanish class. When Francesca takes Funke to homecoming, even the in-school suspension delinquents turn nice and offer guidance on how to keep his boner in check during slow dances. But high school's not always what it seems. As Funke's popularity grows so do his suspicions. Did the president really steal the SATs? Or is Funke just a pawn in a conspiracy as complicated as adolescence itself? Determined to find the truth, Funke digs deeper and unearths the sordid underbelly of St. Donovan's. Student council members, college bookies, public school brats, everyone seems to play a part. Armed only with a learner's permit and the spirit of Woodward and Bernstein, Funke must crack the case before it cracks him.
So I just finished watching this (I'll be watching lots of movies today whilst playing video games I've had for months and never tried. My wife is out of town, making this an all filler, no thriller weekend for your truly).
What to say about this movie. Uh... Here's some more links for you first off, I guess. The Wiki, the IMDB, the Rotten Tomatoes crowd who gave the film an underwhelming 56%. I honestly can't say I blame them - while the soundtrack is nice and the cinematography slick, the film suffers from an interesting enough plot that also drags along from an uneven pacing. Sometimes the film move jaggedly forward, as if rushing towards an inevitable, predictable story, and then there are other times where they decide it's better to make you suffer while still waiting for what you know is to come.
Not all is bad though - there are some original lines that are nearly funny. Bruce Willis is in it which can sometimes be interesting enough to make the money worth the price I paid for it (thanks again, by the way, UTorrent). It's like somebody who watched the films 'Rushmore' and '16 Candles' one time each thought he'd make a fan film dedicated to the two of them, only he then got hit by a bus and had to then write and produce the film while cheelcair bound and only capable of communicating by flicking his eyebrows in morse code. However, through an unfortunate SNAFU at the HR office, the company hired a translator capable of seeing out of only one eye.
Assassination of a High School President - **